I don't know if I'm ready, but I started documenting myself.
- To prepare to become a mother, put on a bathrobe and fix a bag full of beans on your stomach. After 9 months, take out only 10% of the contents of the bag!
For dads: quickly run to the pharmacy, empty your wallet on the counter and invite the pharmacist to help himself. After that, go to the supermarket and ask for your salary to be paid directly into the store's account. - To get an idea of how you will spend your evenings, between 5pm and 10pm walk the length and breadth of the living room carrying a wet bag weighing between 4 and 6 kg. At 22:00 leave your bag, set the alarm clock to 00:00 and go to bed. At midnight, wake up and walk around the living room again carrying the bag for an hour. Set the alarm clock at 3:00 am. It's impossible to fall asleep, obviously, so wake up at 2:00 a.m. and serve yourself something to drink. Returning to bed at 2.45am. When the alarm clock rings, a quarter of an hour later, the awakening! Sing lullabies until 4:00 am. Set the alarm at 5:00. Wake up and prepare breakfast. Maintain this rhythm for 5 years...without losing your good mood!
- Empty a watermelon and make a hole in the middle the size of a golf ball. Suspend it from the ceiling with a string and swing it from left to right. From a plate of soup (very liquid) try to feed the "melon" (which is moving), playing with a spoon. Continue the exercise until the plate is half empty, pour the rest...on your knees...bravo! Now you know how to feed a baby!
To get an idea of what will happen when it starts to work, spread the jam on the sofa and curtains, put some frozen fish behind the TV and leave it there for a month or two... - Dressing the little ones is not really a formality. Start by buying an octopus and a fish net. Try to insert the octopus into the net. Estimated time: all morning.
- Do not hope that you will have a car that is as clean and shiny as the day you bought it. Buy a vanilla ice cream and leave it in the box on the dashboard. Insert a coin into the cassette player (or CD player). Crush a packet of biscuits or chocolate on the back seats. Finally, scratch each door with a nail.
Perfect! - Go to the supermarket accompanied by the closest thing to a small child: an adult goat (o giraffe broom, provided with carrier and prosthesis) preferably. If you intend to have more children, use more goats. Do the shopping without letting them out of your sight and pay without comment for everything they destroyed.
Bun…anyone else want?! :)))
